Raj Oza
"PLAY BALL!"
"PLAY BALL!"

Houston: Lost at Home

In 2019, playing baseball’s cheaters,
The Nats won the Series on the road.
Still tagged as the sport’s deadbeaters,
The Astros carried the warts of a toad.

In 2023, with Bochy managing heroic,
The Rangers won at Minute Maid.
With Dusty chewing on a toothpick,
The Astros prayed and flayed.

Sure, they have 2017 and 2022,
But 2017 was banged on a trash can,
And 2022 was too good to be true,
For a team that warranted a ban.

Stealing signs left the ‘Stros stained
And unable to win at home.
Perhaps they should’ve remained
Hapless but honest in the Dome.

George Carlin famously suggested,
“In baseball the object is to go home.”
But when your Series ring is contested,
You are banished to aimlessly roam.

Oriole Wings Clipped

In memory of Louise Glück, 1943-2023, winner of the 2020 Nobel Prize in Literature

When Louise was a young-adult,
The Orioles were high-flying.

Dave, Jim, and Mike were 20-game winners;
Brooks, Davey, and Paul were Gold-Glovers;
Boog and Frank slugged homers to grateful fans;
Earl shoved dirt on umpires’ cleats.

Days before Louise died,
The Orange Birds were swept.
Balty fans wept salty tears of sadness:

“We were made fools of.
And the scent of mock orange
drifts through the window.
How can I rest?
How can I be content
when there is still
that odor in the world?”

(Referencing Glück’s “Mock Orange”)

Dodger Blues

In memory of Louise Glück, 1943-2023, winner of the 2020 Nobel Prize in Literature

When Louise was born,
The Dodgers were in Brooklyn.

Before Jackie, a name for the ages,
There were other colorful monikers:
Arky, Augie, and Billy;
Dixie, Mickey, and Frenchy.

This was more than a decade before
Campy, Jackie, Pee Wee, and Sandy
Won the World Series.

This was decades before
Clayton’s Los Azure dreams
Died with Louise’s laments into oblivion,
A pain salved with rebirth in Spring:

“You who do not remember
passage from the other world
I tell you I could speak again: whatever
returns from oblivion returns
to find a voice:
from the center of my life came
a great fountain, deep blue
shadows on azure sea water.”

(Referencing Glück’s “Wild Iris”)

Classic Falls

The Cubs of 1969:
A season with Hall of Famers,
But an ending not at all divine.

The Indians of 2005:
Chicago’s Pale Hose swept them
Like a beekeeper a beehive.

The Red Sox of 1978:
Bucky Bleepin’ Dent
Kept them from playoff’s gate.

The Blue Jays of 1987:
Many Canadians still mourn
Missing out on baseball’s heaven.

The Phillies of 1964:
“The Phold” phirmly closed
Access to the Fall Classic’s door.

The Invisible Visibles

Giants fans love their M&Ms.

Mays and McCovey:
Willie and Willie
Hit a combined 1,181 home runs.

Marichal and Mathewson:
Juan and Christy
Won a combined 616 games.

Madison and Matt:
Bumgarner and Cain
Led the team to three World Series.

But there is an M&M who never
Hit a homer,
Pitched an inning,
Or won a World Series game.

For 65 years Mike Murphy never
Had his name in a lineup,
Had his name on a baseball card,
Had his name balloted for the Hall of Fame.

But like San Francisco’s fog, Murph was always
In plain sight,
Serving first as a batboy,
And then as the Giants’ clubhouse manager.

Better than most, Murph understands that
Baseball’s Invisible Visibles
Make the game move over a season,
Mark the game’s evolution over decades.

UCL Dialogue & Anagram

Shohei: How many years did you pitch?
Tommy: 26.
Shohei: How many after Tommy John surgery?
Tommy: Lucky 13.

Shohei: How many career home runs?
Tommy: 5.
Shohei: Oh. 166 less than me.
Tommy: And counting.

Shohei: I’m trying to unscramble my right arm.
Tommy: My left arm felt like it flew out to right field.
Shohei: Any advice?
Tommy: Dr. Frank Jobe said, “Replace the UCL.”

Shohei: Replace what?
Tommy: Elbow ligament with forearm tendon.
Tommy: Low odds of successful reconstruction.
Shohei: Let’s re-scramble.

Tommy: Ulnar.
Shohei: Lunar.
Tommy: What?
Shohei: Playing both ways was a moon shot!

Tommy: Collateral.
Shohei: LA call: “Tore.”
Tommy: Come again?
Shohei: Angels doc calls it a torn UCL!

Tommy: Ligament.
Shohei: Gilt amen.
Tommy: As in gold?
Shohei: Yes, amen to all the gold forsaken!

Shohei’s Plea

In memory of “Fiddler on the Roof’s” Sheldon Harnick, 1924-2023

Trademaker, Trademaker
Find me a team,
Catch me a win.

Trademaker, Trademaker
Look to your scouts.
And make me a perfect trade.

Night after night on the Halos I’m alone
So find me a match,
Of my own.

I’ll bring my arm,
My big bat, too.
Bring me a ring
For I’m longing to be,
The envy of all I see.

For Papa,
Make me a winner.
For Mama,
Make me rich as a king.

For me, well,
I wouldn’t holler
If just once I wore a World Series ring.

Trademaker, Trademaker
Find me a team,
Catch me a win.

Trademaker, Trademaker
Look to your scouts.
And make me a perfect trade.

Baseball Burglary Blotter

A Cinci hit
and three thefts
in Milwaukee’s broad daylight.

Elly struck a single off Elvis;
the manager didn’t call the paramedics.

De stole second;
the Brewers’ stadium security stood still.

La stole third;
the rattled fireman turned his back to the plate.

Cruz stole home;
the fans cried, “Crime wave!”

Elly De La Cruz:
the Reds’ thrilling base stealer
achieves Mission: Impossible.